UNDERSTANDING LOCAL WAZE
Almost thirty years ago an excitable
cocky and energetic young man
arrived in the islands
from N.Y., to attend graduate school at the University of Hawaii. It
turned
out that life in paradise was
too interesting to continue to pursue a formal education;
he stayed in Hawaii. It would take a few years to begin to learn how to
relax and acquire an informal but rewarding edu-MUH-cation. And so he
enrolled at the university of sun
and surf, working as a part-time waiter to support his full-time
preoccupation.
As a junk surfer, his ignorance and lack of skill was a pain
in the
'okole out on
the waves. But he was smart enough to smell major stink eye
coming his way
from a very large and very tan fellow. When the gentleman said:
"wot,
you fokkin'
haole; like beef?," he had a hunch
it was time to quickly -- splash splash sploosh -- paddle ashore, get
lost and go find himself one Big Mac.
A number of years later, teaching high school Guidance classes,
this
ex-Noo Yawka
would suggest to his pupils that the best response to "wot, like
beef?" was
"no t'ank you, I prefer rice (or fish, fish and poi but not
chicken)."
This advice generally got a few laughs from his students, and unless he
or she really did like beef, turned out to be a good
way to avoid a fight or scrap. Like scrap?
Yo friends and travelers! Hawai'i is NOT paradise or heaven on earth,
but
it may be the closest any of us will ever come to
the experience in this
life. The
more you know about local people and local style, the more meaningful your
visit will be. If you are reading this, then you ain't gonna settle for
no sterilized, homogenized superficial packaged trip signed sealed and
delivered.
This page is dedicated to providing you with some localisms which will
help you get the most bang for your buck, and show you
how to meet some local people.
You need to know that your waze is strange.
Imagine going into someone's home and not taking your shoes off! Sorry,
but you guys iz so dumb.
Yes, it's true that President Clinton and Congress
have
FORMALLY apologized
for the ILLEGAL overthrow of The Hawaiian Monarchy of the
Sovereign Nation of
Hawaii! Wow, lau lau!
There
is a series of books: "Da Max", which are recommended reading
for
you to understand the culture mo' bettah. Guess wot? They can be
purchased in the online book section of the country store.
This page should grow over the next few da kine and contain plenny
t'ings
for cruz. Keep coming back. Mahalo!
Chop Suey (plenny any kine):
A HAOLE (HOW lee) is a caucasion. Like most dictionary words, it seems
to have more than one meaning. We won't get near intonation either. A
haole is a stranger. A haole is someone without the breath of life. Say what?
Historically, this definition may have permutated from the Hawaiians'
experience with the
haole explorers who, upon
arrival to these fair shores and frequently thereafter,
STUNK. Or is it STANK? The friendly natives, not
wishing to offend these Gods (so they thought for a while), held their
breath (collective) to show good manners and to
keep from choking on the smell. It did put a strain on the relationship.
"How da lefs (or rights) -brah?"
This expression refers
to the size,
quality and break of the waves. Under most circumstances this is a
garans
icebreaker except when it's crowded. Use
your good judgment. Let people know you only going "spahk eye da
sitchamation."
DA KINE (sounds like kind minus the "d"): This is the MOST IMPORTANT
phrase in
the dialect. If you're ever in a tight spot wheah some BIG Ba
jus' ask you
sumpin' an' you haven't a clue, SMILE & as you shrug your shoulders say,
"shoots, say what...da kine" (keep grinning like an idiot). You will
be aok, maybe meet his cute cuz, bumbye.
Understanding the rhythm of the placement-uh- timing of the phrase "da kine"
will
clarify much that is unintelligible. It requires a certain amount of
intuitiveness to understand
a particular use.
"Da kine" can be used da kine
anytime for anything, sort of like "you
know" except more fun. "Hey kimo, wheah da kine?" "Oh, da kine he wen'
surf." "T'anks eh! Laydahs." sa sa
COUNTER 2/9/97
